Backbiting
What is backbiting?
Backbiting refers to speaking about an absent person in a manner that is unpleasant to them and considered a flaw by social norms, with the intention of belittling and criticizing that person.
If what is said is false, it is not backbiting but slander. If it is said in the presence of the person, it is not backbiting either, but it may be considered an insult.
Backbiting can occur through any means that conveys the speaker's intent, such as speech, writing, gestures, or eye movements.
Definition
Shahid Thani, a 10th-century Islamic jurist, and Imam Khomeini, a Shia religious leader, defined backbiting as:
"Backbiting is speaking about an absent person in a way that is unpleasant to them and considered a flaw by social norms, with the intention of belittling and criticizing that person."[1]
Accordingly, four conditions are necessary for backbiting to occur, and if any of these are missing, backbiting does not take place:
- It must occur in the absence of the person; therefore, saying something unpleasant in their presence is not backbiting, although it may be considered an insult.
- The person would be displeased to hear it.
- The statement is considered a flaw or deficiency by social norms.
- The speaker's intention is to belittle and criticize the person. If the intention is not to belittle but for a more significant purpose, it is not considered sinful. Most cases where backbiting is permissible involve such situations.
Difference from Slander and Insult
According to a narration from the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), the difference between backbiting and slander lies in the truthfulness of the statement. If the statement is true, it is backbiting; if false, it is slander.[2] Imam Khomeini also emphasized the truthfulness of the statement when asked about the nature of backbiting.[3]
If the unpleasant statement is made in the person's presence, it is not backbiting but may be considered an insult.
Types
Backbiting is not limited to speech; it can occur through any means that conveys the intended message, such as writing, gestures, or eye movements.
For example, in a narration, when Aisha pointed to a woman's short stature with her hand, the Prophet (PBUH) said, "You have backbitten her."[4]
Similarly, making indirect remarks can also constitute backbiting, such as saying, "Thank God we are not obsessed with wealth and status," implying that the person being discussed is.[5]
Causes
The motives for backbiting vary, including enmity, jealousy, seeking to entertain others, or expressing sympathy. Reflecting on the consequences of backbiting and replacing it with lawful entertainment can help overcome this vice.
Backbiting leads to the loss of the speaker's good deeds and transfers them to the victim. Expressing genuine concern requires taking practical steps to help the person rather than publicly discussing their faults.
Consequences
The consequences of backbiting are both worldly and spiritual. In the worldly sense, it causes distrust and creates animosity within society.[6]
Spiritually, backbiting erases good deeds. According to narrations, the first person to enter Hell is the one who engages in backbiting.
Permissible Cases
There are situations where backbiting is allowed, such as:
- Seeking justice from an oppressor;
- Backbiting a sinful person who openly commits sins;
- Warning others about a dangerous individual;
- Giving advice when consulted;
- Exposing the immorality of a witness in court.
How to Deal with a Backbiter
When encountering a backbiter, methods such as reminding them of the consequences of backbiting and suggesting ways to overcome this vice should be used.
The approach should be tactful; for example, addressing the issue privately, avoiding insults, and strengthening the person's self-esteem before pointing out the sin.[7][8]
If one is present in a gathering where backbiting occurs, it is obligatory to defend the victim. Alternative strategies include changing the topic, distracting others, or leaving the gathering.
References
- ↑ Imam Khomeini, Ruhollah, Forty Hadith, Institute for Compilation and Publication of Imam Khomeini's Works, First Edition, 1992, p. 301; Shahid Thani, Rasail Shahid Thani, p. 284.
- ↑ Fayd Kashani, Mulla Mohsen, Al-Mahajjat al-Bayda, "The Book of the Evils of the Tongue," Qom: Islamic Publication Office, vol. 5, p. 256.
- ↑ Khomeini, Ruhollah, Istifta'at, Qom: Islamic Publications Office, 1997, vol. 2, p. 619.
- ↑ Naraqi, Muhammad Mahdi, Jami' al-Sa'adat, Al-A'lami Publications, 4th edition, Beirut, vol. 2, p. 294.
- ↑ Shubbar, Sayyid Abdullah, Kitab al-Akhlaq, translated by Mohammad Reza Jabaran, Hijrat Publications, Qom, 2000, p. 235.
- ↑ Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Tafsir Nemooneh, Dar al-Kutub al-Islamiyyah, 17th edition, 1999, vol. 22, p. 189.
- ↑ Afrooz, Gholamali, Psychology of Relationships, Tehran: Navader Publications, p. 10.
- ↑ Akbari, Abolqasem, Problems of Adolescence and Youth, Tehran, Savalan Publishing Institute, 2002, p. 221.