Resentment
What is resentment? What are its consequences, causes, and remedies?
Template:رذائل اخلاقی
Resentment is a moral vice and a psychological state in which a person harbors hostility towards another while concealing it, waiting for an opportune moment to express it. It is often considered a byproduct of anger. Remedies for resentment include reflecting on its consequences, cultivating a spirit of forgiveness, and engaging in amicable interactions with the individual towards whom resentment is directed.
One significant cause of resentment is a sense of inadequacy, which leads an individual to begrudge others' success. Other causes include verbal disputes, blame, gossip, mockery, curses, and abusive language, all of which can provoke feelings of hostility in the affected party.
Definition
Resentment is a psychological state where an individual harbors hidden animosity toward another, awaiting the right moment to act upon it.((Narāqī, Aḥmad, Miʿrāj al-Saʿāda, Nāshir: Kashf al-Ghiṭāʾ, First Edition, 82, p. 200.</ref> It is distinguished as a purely internal feeling; if acted upon, it escalates to enmity. Resentment arises as a consequence of unresolved anger, especially when an individual suppresses their anger rather than expressing it.[1]
Islamic teachings describe resentment as incompatible with genuine faith. A resentful person is considered deprived of true belief.[2]
Causes
Key factors contributing to resentment include:
- Verbal Disputes: Continued debates, especially those where neither party accepts the other's perspective, can lead to animosity.[3]
- Faultfinding (Merā'): Criticizing others' speech disrupts relationships and fosters resentment.[4]
- Excessive Expectations and Blame: Overburdening others with expectations beyond their capacity and criticizing them for unmet expectations cultivates resentment.[5]
- Feelings of Inadequacy: Those who feel insufficient may develop resentment upon witnessing others' success.[6]
- Gossip: Slander tarnishes the reputation of the subject, prompting them to harbor resentment toward the gossiper.[7]
- Mockery: Ridiculing others can lead to suppressed anger, eventually transforming into resentment.[8]
- Curses and Abuse: Excessive verbal abuse or cursing fosters resentment among those targeted.[9]
Consequences of Resentment
A resentful person experiences perpetual discomfort, lacking peace of mind and enduring social isolation due to strained relationships. Resentment also paves the way for other sins, such as envy, gossip, slander, and humiliation of others. Additionally, Islam emphasizes that a true believer should not harbor resentment for extended periods, as stated in prophetic traditions.[10]
Remedies
Template:Main Article: Remedies for Resentment To overcome resentment, scholars suggest:
- Reflecting on Its Consequences: Understanding that harboring resentment only harms the resentful individual, perpetuating their distress.
- Cultivating a Spirit of Forgiveness: When an individual is harmed or insulted by another, instead of succumbing to anger and resentment, they should embody the virtue of forgiveness. As stated by the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), forgiveness elevates a person’s honor and dignity.[11]
- Kindness Toward the Resented Individual: Demonstrating goodwill, fulfilling their needs, and acknowledging their positive traits in social settings to mitigate hostility.[12]
Sources
- ↑ Narāqī, Aḥmad, Miʿrāj al-Saʿāda, Nāshir: Kashf al-Ghiṭāʾ, First Edition, 82, p. 200.
- ↑ Muḥammadī Ray Shahrī, Mīzān al-Ḥikma, trans. Ḥamīd Riḍā Mashāyikhī, Dār al-Ḥadīth, First Edition, 1377 SH, vol. 3, p. 1221, Bāb Ḥiqd.
- ↑ ʿĀmilī Jubaʿī, Zayn al-Dīn b. ʿAlī (known as Shahīd Thānī), Muniyat al-Murīd fī Ādāb al-Mufīd wa al-Mustafīd, Bāb al-Marāʾ.
- ↑ Tehrānī, Mujtabā, Akhlāq-i Ilāhī, Muʾassasa-yi Farhangī Dānish wa Andīsha-yi Muʿāṣir, First Edition, 1381 SH, vol. 4, pp. 173–174.
- ↑ Muḥammadī Ray Shahrī, Mīzān al-Ḥikma, trans. Ḥamīd Riḍā Mashāyikhī, Dār al-Ḥadīth, First Edition, 1377 SH, vol. 3, p. 1221, Bāb Ḥiqd.
- ↑ Ibn Abī al-Ḥadīd, Sharḥ Nahj al-Balāgha, 20 vols., Beirut: Dār Iḥyāʾ al-Turāth, 1385 AH, vol. 20, p. 322, Ḥadīth 696, and p. 327, Ḥadīth 743.
- ↑ Tehrānī, Mujtabā, Akhlāq-i Ilāhī, Muʾassasa-yi Farhangī Dānish wa Andīsha-yi Muʿāṣir, First Edition, 1381 SH, vol. 4, p. 95 or 65.
- ↑ Tehrānī, Mujtabā, Akhlāq-i Ilāhī, Muʾassasa-yi Farhangī Dānish wa Andīsha-yi Muʿāṣir, First Edition, 1381 SH, vol. 4, p. 295.
- ↑ Tehrānī, Mujtabā, Akhlāq-i Ilāhī, Muʾassasa-yi Farhangī Dānish wa Andīsha-yi Muʿāṣir, First Edition, 1381 SH, vol. 4, p. 247.
- ↑ Muḥammadī Ray Shahrī, Mīzān al-Ḥikma, trans. Ḥamīd Riḍā Mashāyikhī, Dār al-Ḥadīth, First Edition, 1377 SH, vol. 3, p. 1221, Bāb Ḥiqd.
- ↑ ʿAbd Allāh Shubbar, Akhlāq-i Shubbar, Hijrat Publications, Second Edition, 1377 SH, pp. 253–254.
- ↑ Narāqī, Aḥmad, Miʿrāj al-Saʿāda, p. 201.